Parenting, part 2

PARENTING SCHOOL AGE CHILDREN

Seven things about parenting kids from 5 to 13...

SCHOOL.  At last they are at school and off your hands  most of the day. This brings a fresh set of challenges. If you are the sort of person who is not great at being organised, now is the time to invest in a big calendar and notice board. They have a lot of days off. Some of these you will not remember until you pull up outside the school and find the gates are locked. Or, conversely, when the school rings you up to enquire why your child is absent. Extra points if the phone-call got you out of bed.

UNIFORM. They look very sweet in their uniform, all smart and grown up. This lasts for about a week. Then they get paint on their jumper (water based allegedly, good luck getting it off), their new school pants gather ripped knees and you end up sending them in odd socks because there is a whole carrier bag of socks clean and no two are the same. Children also have a tendency to shoot up in August. What fit them in July when you bought it, will look like it needs passing down by September. PE kits are a pain in the arse and will hide in the laundry pile when you suddenly remember your child is supposed to take it with them.

SCHOOL FRIENDS. Boys and girls differ here. Boys will choose their friends on the criteria of they are the same age, they both like football and are both into the power rangers. Girls on the other hand have a friendship network that is more akin to national politics. Alliances are formed, and broken, best friends carefully selected, and catagorised. The girls who were best friends last week, may hate each other this week. It helps if you stay neutral. Expect lots of tears.

ATTITUDE. Once you're past the toddler years, you sort of expect the tantrumming stage to be over and you've got a few shining years before teenager stroppiness takes over. Wrong. They may not throw themselves to the floor and shriek in the supermarket (actually, they still might) but are more likely to have a stand-up argument with you. This becomes a problem when you discover they are better at arguing than you are.  Compromise is always a good tactic, but you may have to get a little sly. Grounding can work, if you are prepared to have a sulky nine year old trailing around you all day whining. They do still whine. A lot.

PUBERTY. This is happening younger and ever younger. Face it, you're going to have talk to your kids about tampax. And sex. Tell them they can ask you anything, and give them honest replies. This will backfire when your seven year old asks you what an orgasm is whilst you're in Tesco.  The day when you discover your child masturbates is a shock. But not as big a shock as the day when you catch them at it. Learn to knock before you walk into their bedrooms.

SIBLINGS. By now, you probably have more than one child. Siblings are great, your children always have someone else to rely on, to play with and to fight with. They will spend a lot of time fighting. Each one will think they are the least favourite, that you treat the other one better, that they never get anything and it's not fair. Be as fair as you can be. Think back to your own childhood and the relationships with your own siblings. With a bit of luck you won't hate each other any more.

PARENTAL GUILT. Yup, it's still there. When every other mother has delivered a batch of home-made buns for the school fayre and your child has brought in a packet of fairy cakes bought from the shop on the way, when you take your child in uniform because the letter for book day didn't actually manage to make it home, when you completely forgot it was photo day and sent your child in yesterdays jumper complete with yellow paint splodge on the collar (and here's a thing, your child will always fall and bruise their face the day before photo day. It's like a law, every parent has that photograph where their child looks like a poster child for the NSPCC because they decided it would be fun to skateboard down the front steps). And again, let it go. You're raising kids and nothing is ever going to be perfect.