Figgis 11: A little breather...

More Figgis!


A Little Breather...

The police let them go. They had to really, no crime had been committed. Not to mention their prime suspect was now sitting in the back of the car, waving his tail and dropping fur everywhere.  The male officer got out and opened the back door, Figgis jumped down. The officer closed the door again. He wore an expression of complete bemusement.

"So he can change into a dog?"

"He was meant to be a werewolf" Theresa said, "and I was supposed to become a vampire. Hence the wings." She waggled them, almost knocking off the off-side wing mirror.

"They fucked up," Bel said. "And now they have done a moonlight flit and left us all in this predicament."

"Where do we contact you about funeral arrangements?" Female officer asked, "and the car?"

Bel gave them Figgis's address and the police drove off.

"So what do we do now?" Theresa asked.

"Back home," Bel replied.

Figgis was a little annoyed at Bel's presumption that they were still all going to be living at his place, but given his regained canine status, didn't feel in a position to argue. As he'd already noticed, no matter how much barking and chasing around he did, neither of the women saw it as anything but enthusiasm. Instead he kept his mouth shut and sniffed the pavement.

The paving stones had suddenly taken on a whole new dimension. As a human, he'd look down and see stone, maybe a bit of litter, possibly some weathering. As a dog however, they gave up so much more. He knew (although he wasn't quite sure how), that a female dog had walked down this street just half an hour before, not only that, but the matching human trail was also female, was a cat owner, and had a preference for cheap perfume. There was a masculine trail that reeked of sweat and sex, the scent of rats and on the breeze, the waft of something on fire.  He raised his nose and sniffed. Dismissing it, he turned his attention back to his companions.

"What we need," Theresa said, "is a long term plan."

"What I need," Bel replied, "is an afternoon where sod all goes wrong."

Theresa dropped her hand down to Figgis's head and idly stroked his ears. He wasn't sure whether to be offended or just enjoy the sensation, though he was startled to discover his back leg jerking as she scratched. "I'm grateful for you hospitality, but I think I need something more permanant."

"Can't you go back to your parents?" Bel asked.

"I don't think so."

"We should go see them," Bel decided. "Come on, where do you live?"

Theresa gave her the address then added "we really shouldn't, they were freaked out enough at the wings, I'm not sure turning up with a ghost and a dog is going to help."

"Do you want to know what I can do?" Bel asked. Then she vanished.

Figgis knew she was still standing with them, he could smell her. Bel's scent wasn't quite human. It was more a suggestion of a scent, like the whiff of electricity, ions and particles in the air. And also of blueberries.

"Hey look!" Bel cackled. "Oh, you can't, I'm invisible."

Figgis wanted to point out that if Bel wanted to argue Theresa's case with her parents, invisibility was probably not an advantage. But he was a dog, so didn't.

Bel reappeared. "Let's go see your mum and dad."

Theresa reluctantly agreed. It turned out that she didn't live too far from Figgis, just a couple of streets away from him. They would pass his house on the way to hers. He thought it was a shame that he had not met her before this entire transformation debacle. And again, it was a pity he was now a dog. Although the wing thing, he liked that, he'd like to wrap himself up in her wings. Preferably naked.

"My parents," Theresa began, "I just want to prepare you, they are a little... um, different."

"What do mean different? They can't be that bad."

"You might think them a little strange," Theresa warned.

"Really? I can deal with strange. Seriously, why are they weird? Born again Christians? Hoarders? Can't be that bad."

"No, nothing so normal," Theresa frowned.

"So, what is it?"

They were passing the end of Figgis's street now. He glanced down and was startled to see two fire engines parked halfway down. He stopped. Stared.

"No, they are..."

Figgis barked. A shrill, panicked shriek of surprise.

"Oh shit," Bel said, "his house is on fire!"